Survey responses came from youth and leaders from the Sudanese community, and newcomer LGBTQ+ communities. Maintaining healthy relationships takes on-going commitment, acceptance and understanding of self and each other by allowing for time together and time apart. Sustaining healthy relationships involve continuous communication with active listening, negotiation to ensure each person is getting their needs met and supporting each other through challenges of adversity, as everyone suffers and faces dark times. This is part of life and having someone who loves you and wants the best for you, without bias takes significant effort.  

Maintaining a good foundation of trust, personal space & privacy is important in maintaining a healthy relationship.  Being empathic, congruent in our words and actions and remaining curious will help keep a relationship healthy.  

“Self care, be positive, count our blessings and surround oneself with positive people”

“The two people are a team and truthful, demonstrate love and affection regularly”

Why do relationships fail? Relationship challenges involve lack of respect, trust, communication, confidence, compassion and honesty. Cultural or societal differences can derail a relationship, as will being stubborn, having incorrect assumptions and expectations that are clarified. Issues of trauma, addiction, mental illness can lead to abuse, neglect and power imbalances causing relationship breakdown. Causing self harm and violence in the relationship will hinder a healthy relationship unless mediation and help is sought. Age differences can lead to relationship breakdown as well. Other challenges in building healthy relationships include language barriers, negative codependency, substance use/abuse, negativity and lack of awareness.

“Most times insecurities & past trauma/PTSD will affect a person so much that it spills over into the relationship you are trying to build when persons have different goals and values”

Healthy relationships are important because they build and increase self-esteem and confidence.  They are an asset to society for emotional, social, physical and spiritual health. Relationships are the foundation to well-being and provide essential social integration and self-esteem. They provide happiness, help us enjoy life and enable growth and change. Healthy relationships help us acquire balance in life by giving and receiving support and love. They allow us to be authentic, feel appreciated and gives us a place in the world (belonging). Healthy relationships help us develop a healthy mindset, feel accepted and heard by providing a peaceful state of mind, constant trust, and are good for the brain. They keep our mind, body, and soul active.  They are important to build our identity in a positive way and provide stability in a person. 

“Relationships support us through good and adverse times”  

“ Relationships are important because we gain more information and provide examples of good values and ways to behave in a relationship”   

They bring more connections to more people and increase the strength of the community”

Allow newcomer LGBTQ+ community members to be themselves and feel comfortable about who they are, like any other group would. Welcome them, help them to integrate and feel part of any group. Create avenues in which newcomers can safely build lasting and loving connections through gatherings and social events, including on-line and social media platforms. Allow them to be themselves and feel comfortable about who they are like any other group would, make them feel they are a part of the group. It can feel overwhelming joining a new circle so it is important to establish comfort and rapport. Allow them to express themselves and not let them feel uncomfortable, supporting them the way we would support any newcomer. Being respectful, accepting and less judgmental & not forcing them to participate.

“By educating ourselves or reaching out to a representative of each community both through knowledge about the community and experience of those who have lived it. Understanding that we all are different so we should always be loving and tolerant of each other's beliefs and preferences, being a buffer and a shoulder for that person, but most importantly listening.”